“I’ve got a mortgage and I’m paying all the household bills.” (The subject of the photo is the model.) – Getty Images/iStockphoto
My husband is seven years younger than me. But he has early onset dementia which has turned our lives upside down. I’m in my mid-60s, now at retirement age, but I plan to work much longer. Assets can also generate income.
This is our second marriage. Fortunately, I didn’t mess up our finances. He was self-employed and owned this 10-acre home for 30 years. We lost almost everything when he got sick. He was $20,000 behind on his mortgage. Next year we have to refinance and pay off his business debts.
I increased my income. I have a mortgage and pay all the household bills. I keep my living expenses as low as possible and have dental and health insurance for both of us. I plan to work for many more years.
The cheapest way is to keep the property and refinance next year. There is a lot of property. Am I asking for a 10, 15 or 30 year mortgage when refinancing? With their help, we plan to keep the property in the family.
We have a will and we do everything to protect us.
Second wife
Related:
You are doing what you have to do to get back on your feet after your husband’s business started losing money. – Illustration by MarketWatch
You face this situation like a champ.
Instead of getting caught up in endless questions like “Why us?” you just got it right. You’ve increased your income and are doing what you need to do to get back on your feet after your husband’s business started losing money. You use the one asset he has to pay off his debts, and you do this by cooperating and helping his family.
Whether or not you decide to take out a 10-, 15- or 30-year mortgage depends on a) the interest rate and b) the ability of your husband and his assets to pay off the loan. There may come a time when you need to sell this house to pay for care as his dementia progresses, but you can only do one thing, one day at a time. He is lucky to have you around.
There are other long-term plans you can make. It would be good for your husband to sign the power of attorney while he is of sound mind and legal capacity, if he has not already done so. The power of attorney must be “durable” and state that you will make decisions on his behalf when he is incapacitated.
He or she may also appoint you to have power of attorney to make health care decisions. This will ensure that he should do something on his behalf in a medical context. For example, if he doesn’t want to be on life support, that would be stated in this advanced healthcare directive. A living will and/or living trust may also provide additional guidance.
Related: My husband has dementia and will need care. Will Medicaid come after my money if I use it to pay off my mortgage?
The important thing is that setting up a trust helps your husband’s will, which is you, avoid probate. Making sure you have these documents before he is in the middle or late stages of dementia will help you avoid complications later, such as applying to become his guardian or conservator, which can be a long and complicated process.
This is also the time to look at Social Security benefits for your husband. “A person with early-onset Alzheimer’s disease and younger than age 65 may qualify for Social Security Disability Insurance (SSDI) benefits early,” according to AARP. “After two years of SSDI benefits, they can get Medicare until age 65.
Your husband can also purchase a private supplemental Medigap policy or look into a Medicare Advantage plan. “Medicare will cover hospice care that provides as much comfort as possible to terminally ill patients in their final days or months,” notes AARP. “The doctor must certify that their life expectancy is six months or less.”
Most of all, what you have created for yourself after this diagnosis is something that was taken from you at the time: certainty. You may not know exactly how long it will take for your husband’s dementia to progress to the stage where he will need full-time care, but you have created enough financial safeguards to protect you both.
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