tThe body swap genre has long existed on a simple premise: what if two people with completely opposite worldviews had to experience life through each other’s eyes. Classics of the genre include Freaky Friday (a child switches bodies with an adult), 18 Again! (where a teenager switches bodies with an 81-year-old comatose patient), Like Father Like Son (where a child switches bodies with a surgeon) and The Hot Chick (a hot guy switches bodies with Rob Schneider).
But you haven’t seen anything yet because Hollywood invented a body swapping movie that makes all these movies look like training runs. He used advanced scientific and mathematical formulas to find the two actors currently working on planet Earth who are complete opposites in every possible way, and built a film around their infinite and complex differences. That’s right, there’s a body swap movie coming soon starring Julia Roberts and Jennifer Aniston.
I know right? Try to understand this in one impossible moment, if your brain allows you. There’s no title or logline for this movie yet, but then again, why do you need one? You could walk into any studio in Hollywood and just say the words “Jennifer Aniston is swapping bodies with Julia Roberts” and the executives would just start throwing suitcases full of money at you, eager to see how you could dramatize the whole constellation of differences , which exist between Julia Roberts and Jennifer Aniston.
Now, I obviously know what you’re thinking here. You’re thinking, “Wait a minute, Julia Roberts and Jennifer Aniston don’t really look that different to me.” But this is where you are wrong, my poor sweet summer fool. They are extremely different people in every way. For example, while Jennifer Aniston is a divorced white millionaire actress born in 1969, Julia Roberts is a divorced white millionaire actress born in 1967. And while Roberts initially found fame in comedy before reaching a point of critical acclaim starring in drama film, Aniston actually initially found fame in comedy before reaching a point of critical acclaim by starring in a dramatic television show. Completely different.
The list goes on. Julia Roberts appeared on Friends once, but Jennifer Aniston appeared on Friends 236 times. Julia Roberts starred in movies with Brad Pitt, but Jennifer Aniston actually married him. What I’m trying to say is that they are complete and total atomic opposites of each other. If Jennifer Aniston steals your phone and is put in a police line with Julia Roberts, there’s undoubtedly a 60% chance you’ll correctly identify her and not Roberts. Oh well, I give up. They are identical.
And it is not impossible to assume that this is actually the goal. The director of this upcoming body swap film is Max Barbakov, whose last film Palm Springs was an amazing comedy that managed to update and subvert the main plot of Groundhog Day to a winning degree. This is a guy who clearly knows how to mess with the genre. And after decades of body swap comedies about people swapping places with their physical and emotional opposites, isn’t it about time someone made a movie where a woman swaps bodies with another woman who also happens to be her exact genetic replica ?
Obviously, this sounds like a terrible idea because it contains absolutely zero dramatic tension, but that’s because we’re not Max Barbakov. At this stage, Barbakov seems like the best possible person to squeeze every drop of juice out of what is essentially a “glamorous woman looking in the mirror” premise.
No release date has been set for this Aniston-Roberts bodyswap extravaganza, but we hope it happens soon. The world needs this movie.