Before we say goodbye to 2023, it’s time for a moment of reflection. Specifically, let’s take a moment to talk about trends that – in my humble opinion – are just not successful. So many of them were just awful this year! Forget FOMO; a lot made me wonder, wait, what the hell is this thing?
Is TikTok just out of control? Has everyone forgotten what fun is? Have we handed over control of the hype cycle to Gen Z too soon? Whatever is going on, let’s stop it with these trends in particular.
Jeans. I know I’m starting big and wide. But what the hell are we doing here Vogue?! I don’t know who is officially in charge of denim trends, but I do know that right now I look like a sad potato in every single “trendy” option. There’s something about a wide butt and an overly wide bottom that looks very odd with almost any shoe combination and leaves me sad and frustrated trying to pull together an on-trend look.
Curd Everything: We can thank Bethenny Frankel for that, but I think we just went too far. I’m a cottage cheese girl all the time, but I stick to basic uses like straight from the container or on a thin pretzel. But this year they made me scramble it into my eggs and mix it into my tuna salad and my conclusion now is simple, let’s not mess with something great.
Ballet flats. These motherfuckers are not new to the game. I remember them from the 90s. And good riddance, Said. But 2023 proved me wrong as flats (specifically Mary Janes) made a comeback. And I’m happy for all the petite girls who dress them up and look like little dolls, but to shove my size 11 feet into a pair of those tiny Samantha Parkington numbers and prance around with my 5’10 frame – that’s not for me. grandfather.
TikTok’s age filter. Why on earth do so many people think it’s a good idea to post age-filtered photos and videos of themselves showing their expected appearance at around 70? I’ll tell you why: because the filter made all 20-somethings look like beautifully flawless and perfectly aged grannies. Honestly, they looked hot. But I? I looked like Gollum from Lord of the Rings. Because what this filter did to the faces of women in their late 30s and early 40s was vile and horrifying, and why the hell were we all doing it?!
Potpourri from the stove: I’ll be honest, it took me down a big rabbit hole and practically took over my algorithm for a solid week. I had to try it. I gathered all the ingredients and spent an entire afternoon drying orange slices and chopping lemon balm sprigs to complete the recipe. The problem was that the final flavor was plain meh. Instead of filling my house with a wonderful Christmas aroma, it somehow just made the back half of the kitchen smell like a burnt orange.
Desk mats. Now I don’t want everyone in health and wellness coming for me, but these desk walking pads are crazy. All of a sudden, all those work-from-home professionals are now crunching numbers and attending big client meetings while on a brisk walk. Sometimes at an angle! Honestly, it seems like a no-brainer. And really, I know we’re a culture that encourages constant multitasking, but can’t we just separate work and exercise? I feel like these things can exist independently of each other, even though they are really important. Don’t make me feel like I’m not doing enough if I’m actively working at my job without climbing a mountain at the same time, okay?!
The question of the Roman Empire. Then there was that crazy TikTok phenomenon that flooded my feed where women asked men how many times a day they thought about the Roman Empire. And thousands of men have said they think about it every day. I mean, what was that? I guess it was funny, but I still don’t get it.
I can go on — tiny sunglasses, old women with big ribbons in their hair, and GRWM videos, to name a few. And everything is alright. I get it, not every trend can be as undeniable as the Eras tour, the nail clippers or the ice cream and fruit combination. And while some have really missed out, I’m still watching them develop. But let’s put those in the dust and do better next year.
step is a former lawyer and mother of four who swears a lot. Find her on Instagram @sammbdavidson.