A recently published Reddit recording in the R/Doseramesey community has caused many sincere and thoughtful answers after one husband revealed that he learned that his wife secretly raised more than $ 30,000 credit card debt.
The record described in detail how the engineer for many years was modest, carefully saved, and his lawyer’s wife, unknown to him, taxed on credit cards without telling him.
For the second time it happened
“This is not the first time that happened,” the man wrote. He said she had previously been in 2018. Hidden the debt of about $ 9,000 he paid off. Now that she confessed to a new debt of $ 30,000, he shared, “I don’t want to save her without consequences.”
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The couple, both earnings, mainly protected their finances through all the relationships. The man said it was conscious to avoid the dynamics of financial power because he earns almost twice as much. However, this setup also meant that he did not realize how much debt it had accumulated.
He added: “Although I was zealously economical and deprived of the things I want … She spent money she didn’t have, and paid the credit card interest rates because almost immediately after I was the last time I saved it.”
Plans to set boundaries
He offered a structured plan: he will pay its debt using their general savings, which he funded mainly, but only as a loan with the repayment terms. It would pay $ 500 for her total investment account.
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He also wanted to implement strict financial boundaries: without any portable credit card residue without mutual debate, mandatory monthly financial reviews, no new trips unless paid in advance, and postpone new car purchases until it shows better financial behavior.
His terms also covered a meeting with a financial planner and part of her upcoming salary to 401 (K).
Reddit’s reactions were blurred
The Reddit community offered a different approach to how to deal with the situation.
“She needs therapy to get into the root of her financial insecurity,” wrote one commentator. Others repeated that mood, calling the symptom of the release, not the main problem.
One person shared his story: “It’s called financial infidelity, and it can be very difficult to recover … You have to ask yourself if she hid it from you, what else she is able to hide?”
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Others critically evaluated the man’s plan. “You turn into her father,” the commentator said, adding that because of the long list of rules and conditions, she could just hide things better.
Another wrote, “Give your wife money? Do you know how it sounds?”
Some noted that the agreement felt more like a business agreement than marriage: “Your financial relationship sounds more like a roommate than a wife.”
However, some defended the original poster. “I think this is a reasonable plan and I like that you do it ‘us’, not ‘her’,” wrote one editor.
However, the most repeated advice was to seek marriage consultation. “It doesn’t look like a marriage,” one person said.
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Image: Shutterstock
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