When Alex walked into the garage after work two years ago, he didn’t expect a confession that would rock both his marriage and the family’s finances.
His wife, Jackie, a 33-year-old stay-at-home mother of four from North Dakota, told him she secretly spent $5,000 to $6,000 on a Tony Robbins-brand coaching program for their savings without telling him. The purchase could not be refunded and was not sure what it would deliver.
“It hurt really bad,” Alex told Ramit Sethi on I’ll Teach You To Be Rich (1) “I was upset and emotionally affected by it for a while… for months.”
For Jackie, the acquisition felt less like business training and more like hope. Isolated, struggling with postpartum depression and desperate to contribute financially, she accepted the promise of clarity and transformation. The following pushed the couple into opposite corners. Jackie retreated in shame and secrecy.
Alex responded with control, requiring her to text him before every purchase (even a $40 grocery run) while maintaining an exhaustive, color-coded spreadsheet tracking a decade of spending. The system did not solve their money problems, but it deepened the tension. Here’s how they got into this situation and what finally helped them start digging.
For Jackie and Alex, the expenses didn’t stop with the original Robbins program. The following year, Jackie enrolled in a separate business photography course, which cost between $15,000 and $16,000. While she earned some income afterward, the couple was left with about $9,000 in remaining debt, further cementing Alex’s feeling that he could not be trusted with financial decisions made without full transparency.
That escalation is a textbook example of the sunk cost fallacy (2). After investing thousands in the first program, Jackie felt the pressure to make the expense “worth it” by doubling down and taking another course in the hopes that the next one would finally deliver the income, clarity, or breakthrough that was promised.
Behavioral economists use the term sunk cost fallacy to describe this pattern: people keep investing more time or money not because the next step makes sense, but because they’ve already spent so much. In this case, what started as a $5,000 secret purchase quietly turned into a five-figure financial setback.
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When the couple joined I will teach you to be richtheir finances were in a quiet free fall:
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Revenue: $91,000
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Four children under the age of eight
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Fixed costs at 87% of net salary
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Savings are dropping by hundreds per month.
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$224,000 in debt, which is mostly mortgages, and a $5,000 car debt
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Nothing saved for emergencies beyond a few months
Their comeback didn’t start with cutting more expenses. It started with changing roles and rebuilding trust.
Jackie, long called “the avoider,” took on the responsibility of managing categories such as food and children’s activities. She stopped sending receipts and hiding purchases.
Alex took a step back from micromanaging through spreadsheets. Instead of tracking every line item, the couple implemented a conscious spending plan that includes the following:
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Weekly money meetings about their budget and vision for the family
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Expenditure threshold for different financial categories
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Shared responsibility in certain categories of finance
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10% to 15% of income in savings
In a matter of weeks, they cut subscriptions, cut grocery costs, stayed within budget, and ended the month with money left over.
“The biggest insight I got is that I could control my own spending,” Jackie said in a later video, which showed they finished their first month under budget by $8.
Here are some recommendations for couples facing a similar problem as Jackie and Alex:
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Use a common financial system: Divide household financial responsibilities between both partners to establish a system based on trust
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Set a spending threshold: Set a purchase limit between financial categories.
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Hold monthly money meetings: Schedule recurring check-ins to review goals, expenses, and future decisions as a couple.
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Create a “dream” category: Allocate guilt-free money to meaningful desires so you avoid deprivation and impulse purchases.
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Adopt a vision plan: Replace retrospective budgets with a financial system that directs your money to priorities.
Alex and Jackie’s story isn’t just about fixing their finances; it’s about repairing trust, secrecy, and fear.
They didn’t solve their money problems by eliminating every mistake or dream. Recognizing how decisions fueled by shame and hope compounded over time, they were able to build a system that made room for both responsibility and ambition. Their experience reminds us that financial recovery doesn’t come from perfect discipline: it comes from honest conversations, clear boundaries, and a plan that both partners believe in.
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I will teach you to be rich (1); Decision Lab (2)
This article provides information only and should not be construed as advice. Offered without warranty of any kind.
