Someone asked me last week why I always say “I could be wrong” before giving my opinion.
“You do it constantly,” they said. “It makes you look insecure.”
But I’m not insecure. I’m just aware that I may be missing information. That my perspective is not the only valid one. That being sure about everything is usually a sign that you’re not thinking hard enough.
I picked up that phrase from my boss years ago. He said it before making decisions, before giving feedback, before disagreeing with people. And at first, I thought it was a bad thing and she didn’t trust herself.
But the strange thing was that he was almost always right. Because it left room for correction. She invited people to challenge her thinking. And when they did, she adapted. She wasn’t protecting her ego, she was protecting the quality of her decisions.
That’s when I started paying attention to how the smartest people I know speak. The words I use. The questions I ask. Phrases that come up again and again.
Here are the phrases that separate high-level thinkers from everyone else.
1. “I could be wrong about that.”
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You know the person who expresses every opinion as if it were an established fact? Who speaks with absolute certainty about things they learned five minutes ago?
That’s not what high-level thinkers do.
They preface their statements with doubt. “I could be wrong, but…” “I could be missing something, but…”
It’s called intellectual humility.
Decision-making research has found that people who regularly acknowledge uncertainty make better predictions and adapt more quickly when new information emerges. They are not attached to being right – they just want to know the truth.
This phrase creates room for correction. It signals openness to being wrong. And ironically, being willing to be wrong makes you right more often.
2. “What am I missing?”
Someone disagrees with you. Your first thought is probably: they don’t understand. If they understood what I understood, they would agree with me.
But people who think at a higher level overturn this assumption.
They wonder, “What don’t I see?” “What information am I missing?” “What perspective am I missing?”
Studies of collaborative problem solving show that assuming gaps in one’s own knowledge leads to better solutions than assuming gaps in others’ understanding.
I catch myself doing it now, when I’m sure I’m right and someone is pushing back. Instead of being frustrated, I ask what I’m missing. Half the time, it turns out I was missing something big.
3. “Tell me more about it.”
Someone says something that sounds ridiculous to you. Wrong death. Completely off base.
And instead of correcting them, you ask them to keep talking.
According to research on productive dialogue, people who delay their reactions and invite elaboration reach mutual understanding much faster than those who immediately counterargue.
Sometimes they explain and you realize they are right.
Sometimes you both discover that the problem is more complex than either of you think.
Sometimes you still don’t agree, but at least you understand why.
The smartest people I know use this phrase constantly, because they really want to understand before they respond.
4. “I changed my mind.”
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Changing your mind is embarrassing.
So most people stick with positions they no longer believe. They defend ideas they have privately abandoned. They would rather be consistently wrong than inconsistently right.
High level thinkers announce it.
“I used to think about X, but now I think about Y.”
“I was wrong about that.”
“This new information changed my perspective.”
Research looking at intellectual flexibility has found something surprising: People who openly admit to changing their minds are seen as more credible, not less. Being willing to update your opinions signals that you are learning.
Besides, sticking with a belief after conflicting evidence is just stubbornness.
5. “This is not my area of expertise.”
Many people feel compelled to have opinions about everything.
Politics, economics, science, medicine, education – it doesn’t matter if they’ve never studied it. They will weigh with confidence anyway.
The sharpest thinkers do the opposite. They say they don’t know enough to have an informed opinion, that the subject is outside their area, that they haven’t studied it enough to comment.”
Studies of real expertise show a pattern: Real experts readily admit the limits of their knowledge. The more one knows, the more one recognizes how much one does not know.
When someone easily says, “I don’t know,” it’s often a sign that they know a lot. They only understand where their knowledge ends.
6. “Help me understand your perspective.”
It’s very hard not to have a physical reaction to someone saying something you don’t agree with. The tempting move is to explain why they are wrong.
Deeper thinkers take a different approach.
“Help me understand how you look at this.” — Expose me by your reasoning. “What brought you there?”
Persuasion research has found that people who approach disagreements with genuine curiosity are more likely to change their minds than those who approach them with correction. Understanding doesn’t mean agreeing – it just means that you understand their position well enough to genuinely engage.
This changes the energy. Turn a debate into a dialogue. And in dialogue, people actually think, instead of defending themselves.
7. “I don’t know.”
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Three words. The hardest phrase to say.
Someone asks you something and you don’t know the answer. Instead of guessing or becoming or making something up, you just say, “I don’t know.”
He feels vulnerable. As you should know. Like not knowing makes you look stupid.
But high-level thinkers only recognize it. And then, if it matters, they find out.
I started doing this at work. Someone asks me something I’m not sure about, and instead of feigning confidence, I say, “I don’t know. Let me check and get back to you.” He never hurt me. It usually helps. Because I don’t give people wrong information.
8. “What would change your mind about it?”
This question separates thinking from identity.
If anyone can tell you what evidence would change his mind, he thinks. Their position is based on reasoning. They are open to persuasion if the right information comes along.
If they cannot answer—if nothing would change their minds—then their belief is not based on evidence. It’s part of who they are.
Studies of belief formation have found that simply asking people to consider what would change their minds increases intellectual humility and reduces polarization. Considering the question makes people more flexible.
People who think at the highest level ask this of themselves and others. Not to catch anyone. But let’s figure out if it’s worth having the conversation. If both people are really thinking, a productive conversation is possible.
These phrases don’t make you smarter by themselves. But they signal something crucial about high-level thinkers: They are more interested in truth than justice. They are open to learning instead of being defensive. They see conversations as opportunities to think better, not battles to win. And this change is what actually separates people who think at a high level from those who just think they do.