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“You just have to always be healthy.
A former coworker who used to tell me this was to me, it was a work meal for each group when I ordered a salad or something more vegetarian as I was at the time. She always said that that she understood what was on my plate on my plate as an insult, what she ate. This, of course, was not.
Her constant comments about what I ate most often encouraged others to laugh at the group and ask me dozens of questions about my meals. Why did I eat it, not? Did I follow a diet? All the questions and talk about what I ate for lunch, forced me to deliberately consciously that I missed this lunch of the group when possible.
The habit of commenting on what others are eating is common, said Heather Baker, a licensed clinical social worker and founder of prospective disorders and health center Herndon, Virginia. “It’s a way to connect with someone else,” Baker said. “Food is this universal commonality we share, so naturally we want to comment on it.”
However, it can be harmful, she added.
“Comments on food and eating can be severe for those who have an eating disorder, or the one who is worried about eating with others,” Huffpost told Everyn Attia, psychiatrist and New York-PRESBITIRA WESTESTER CANCER EAT Director.
Attia stated that these notes-not if they are benevolent-they can make some people feel valued, ashamed and conscious.
Experts say it is best to avoid commenting on what others eat when doubt about. That is why, which statements are particularly harmful and what to do if you often hear this type of comment.
Why shouldn’t you comment on what others eat
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Simple Answer: You never know what someone else survives and why they eat what they eat, “Huffpost said Brittney Laur, head of” Eating Disorders Treatment Platform. “
For example, someone may face or recover from an eating disorder, and Laur said that when reporting how they eat healthy or that they are “good” when eating vegetables, they may be honored for their condition.
People can also have health problems when it comes to dietary changes, such as giving up gluten or going on plant -based, Melissa Preston, a licensed professional advisor, registered nutritionist and founder Omni consulting and nutrition in Denver, Colorado, explained.
In addition to health, people of different cultures may have been ashamed of what they eat in the past, and comments can lead to these feelings, Preston added.
The point is that Baker said: “There is no way to know how someone will explain the comment about food, even if there are good intentions behind it.”
6 things you should never tell people you have dinner with
Although Laur said he believes that most comments about what others eat were benevolent, she said it was usually best to avoid reporting it. Here are some phrases you should never tell the people you eat with:
– I would never eat ___.
Specifying how you avoid eating any ball, for some reason, they may feel ashamed, Preston said. It also strengthens the diet culture and may seem like you compare your body to their body, Baker added, especially if you say, “I could never eat so much sugar or gain weight.”
“Will you not eat all this, right?”
Such statements can make someone feel valued for their eating, ATTIA said. Also, avoid commenting on the size or fullness of your plate-for example, “I have eaten too much”, which can make someone feel conscious of what they ate, Baker said.
– Oh, you are good (or bad) today.
Avoid food labeling as “good”, “bad”, “healthy” or “unhealthy”, Laur said. For example, if you say, “Is it not so unhealthy to eat for breakfast,” it can cherish a sense of shame and activate some people. She emphasized the concept of “suitability of all foods”, which means that someone’s diet has space for all foods. “There is nothing to limit, unless you, of course, have an allergy to food,” she said.
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The concept of healthy food
“Have you followed diets?”
“Never comment on how food will affect someone’s body” like gaining or losing weight, Preston said. Laur added that avoiding negative negative talk about your appearance compared to what you eat in the presence of others.
“I live in a phrase I often hear in my field: ‘My appearance is the least interesting thing,” Laur said. “There are so many topics we can cover.”
– You look healthy.
It may seem like a compliment, but Baker said it can misinterpret someone with a meal disorder, which means they gain weight, which can “start a spiral of negative self -speaking”.
She said, “Instead, comment on aspects of a person’s personality or self -hood that you notice more and you are grateful for the connection.”
“It looks good.
It’s complicated. In some cases, this may be harmless. But Preston said some people, especially the recovery of eating disorders, do not want them to be drawn.
“Please let someone know that their food looks delicious, may be experienced as a message that suggests they choose food or underestimate health when choosing food,” Attia said.
How to answer what others say about what You To eat
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If you often hear such comments and they are frustrating, Attia offered to develop a response and coping strategy. This may vary depending on your relationship with the person and how comfortable you feel when you decide notes.
First, avoid agreeing with the commentator and join the food labeling whether to discuss whether you should eat it or not, said Preston. “This is what a person expects as the answer, comments on how, ‘I shouldn’t eat it.’
Often the topic change is the best strategy. When someone says, “It looks really healthy,” he says, “Oh, it tastes really good,” said Preston. It takes attention from the health aspect.
Redirecting can also help, Laur said. When someone lifts what you don’t want to discuss, ask them about something completely unrelated, such as Beyoncé’s new village album or other current event.
If you feel comfortable being directly, Baker said just to say, “Can we talk about food or our body?”
Lauro said it is always pleasant to yourself, set boundaries and know your boundaries that you are comfortable (and not convenient) to discuss.
If you are fighting an eating disorder, call or call 988 or conversations 988lifeline.org to support. This article initially appeared in Huffpost.
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