If you thought the marriage arguments about money were just someone who forgot to pay the energy account, think again. One Reddit consumer abandoned the story R/AMITHEA ** in a hole where readers think about whether her husband’s anger says more about control than cash.
The couple, both 33, were together from the college and crushed it financially by any means. They each earn nearly $ 200,000 a year, destroyed student loans a year ago, inherited a house without a mortgage and have 18 months of living costs. They even made the most of their 401 (k) s. In other words, no one lives here.
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To maintain peace, they agreed with the hybrid financial system: common household accounts, savings, holiday and big purchases, as well as “fun money” accounts where each spouse could spend without an inspection. He tends to memorabilia of golf, designer clothing and sports. She is a runner, a baker and a reader who rarely stretches her distribution.
This difference in habits led to a large number of savings. Recently, she decided it was time to treat herself. Purchase? A brand new game setup-clutter, table and chair-about $ 5,000.
Her husband’s reaction was not “enjoying her new hobby.” It was a rage.
“He says he didn’t even realize that I had saved so much money and that I had to consult with him before spending $ 5,000,” she wrote. He went further, accusing her of “financial infidelity”, claiming that her ability to quietly create that account was a violation of trust.
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The requirements adapted: “He demands that I return the items I buy and bring most of the funds to our common account.” He also wanted to implement a new rule – no more than $ 2,000 could be considered in cheerful accounts. Any additional savings will be for common savings – the rule that, as it emphasized, favorably appreciated him because he burns every month through distribution.
“I feel that I am punished for being more of a daily savior than a Spender,” she explained.
Reddit readers had an outdoor day with their “financial infidelity” accusation. “Financial infidelity is my **,” one person said. “He’s just jealous that you save enough for a nice new setup! He’s an extremely funny. Don’t return it and put it in the joint to waste it.”
Others cut the essence: “The only reason why it is [an issue] It is because your spouse thinks he should say his expenses (read: freedom), ”the other wrote.
Many considered it not to manage money, not to manipulate. “It’s funny that he blames you for financial infidelity when trying to manipulate you to hand over the money you save. It’s a naked money grab,” one answer said.
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The OP explained that she did not hide anything consciously. It usually spends about $ 500 from her $ 1,500 a cheerful benefit each month, allowing the rest of the quiet stacking. For her, this is the essence of individual accounts: no one has to dictate whether she bakes bread or buys a video card.
Research supports the idea that the secrets of money – even from the accounts at its own discretion – can eradicate trust. A northeast University study found that when one partner is not honest about spending money or hiding, couples report significantly less relationship satisfaction.
Another survey of the National Financial Education Foundation revealed that about 43% of Americans with combined finances recognize a certain form of financial fraud – hiding purchases, income or debts. And this is not just a debt hiding – it can also be a hiding of savings or by -income.
This means that this story is not just about $ 5,000 a game setup. It is about expectations, confidence and whether the “fun money” still belongs to the one who earns it or whether the silence is regarded as a betrayal.
Sometimes the best rule is not another rule about money, and sitting together – maybe even with a financial advisor – to agree on boundaries until outrage costs more than cash.
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This 33 -year -old who earns $ 200,000 is buying a $ 5,000 game setup with his money, but says the man has accused her of “financial infidelity” and demanded that she initially appeared in bezinga.com
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