Work and friendship can overlap without too much trouble – until money comes into the mix. That’s what a 35-year-old man is dealing with after his wife’s longtime boyfriend quit his job just before her benefits were due in full, then accused him of keeping quiet while she walked away with more than $50,000.
In a post on Reddit, the man explained that his wife and the woman — Sara, 29 — had been close since college. They were sisters. When a position opened up in his company, Sara accepted the position and joined his team. She was driven, made rapid progress and was even promoted within six months. Everything seemed to be moving in her favor.
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But after missing out on a major internal promotion, things changed.
“I gave the job to a more deserving candidate in my eyes,” he wrote. He could tell Sara was disappointed. She soon handed in two weeks’ notice, but offered to stay a full month to complete her projects. “I accepted,” he added, noting that they had hoped to keep her on board.
He says he told him frankly that a raise wasn’t on the table. “She was already at the top of her pay scale,” he wrote. “Her job offer was actually a lower salary, so there was no leverage there either.” Shortly after that conversation, Sara decided to leave immediately, cutting her notice short.
What neither of them talked about at the time was the company’s three-year schedule. Like many firms, it has delayed the employer match for both 401(k) contributions and stock purchases. The man described the benefits as generous — matching 10 percent of retirement contributions, plus a 2-for-1 stock match — and said he encouraged her to participate fully. He did, maxing out both programs every year.
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But to keep equality with the employer, he had to reach the three-year mark. And it was only a few weeks away.
“This is something I realized between Sara’s announcement and her quitting,” he wrote. “I wasn’t able to advise her about it, nor did I know how much she put into these programs. There was nothing I could do when she suddenly quit.”
The decision cost her more than $50,000. Two months later, Sara confronted him at home.
“She came with my wife and lay inside me,” he said. “She tried to transfer her funds and found out about the grace period and asked if I knew.” He said he told her what happened – that he hadn’t expected her to leave early and hadn’t thought to say that.
“I told her the situation and how I didn’t consider her to quit right away,” he wrote. However, Sara and his wife told him he was wrong not to say anything.
In the responses, readers were divided. Some said Sara was responsible for knowing her own benefits, especially since she changed her departure date herself. “She made the unfortunate decision to not honor her notice without consulting you or her contract,” one person wrote. “Now, she’s trying to blame you for her actions.”
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Others saw the personal dynamics as more complicated. “If you thought about it, her one month notice would have covered her acquisition,” said one user. “She’ll be upset because it’s easier to blame you than admit she didn’t check.”
Several pointed out that the details of workplace benefits, such as clothing cliffs, are not always top-of-mind, especially for younger professionals. And the data backs that up. A 2023 CNBC poll found that 46 percent of Americans with a 401(k) don’t even know what their money is invested in. Among adults aged 18 to 34, that number rises to 54%. In other words, more than half of young workers may be actively contributing to a benefit they don’t fully understand.
Experts also noted that many workers assume 401(k) matches are automatically theirs. But vesting programs – especially three- or five-year cliffs – are a common and often overlooked pitfall. According to Vanguard, nearly half of employers with 401(k) plans use some form of investment delay for matching contributions.
Regarding this situation, the original poster admitted that it could have gone differently. But he still wondered if the responsibility really belonged to him in the first place.
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This article She Lost $50,000 By Quitting Just Before Her 401(k) Was Eligible—Now She Says Her Boss, Who’s Also Her Friend’s Husband, Should’ve Warned Her She’d Lose It Originally appeared on Benzinga.com
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