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David McRaney is an author, science journalist, and host of the You’re Not That Smart podcast. He joined Negotiate everything to dive deep into the science of how minds change and share some valuable tips on the art of persuasion.
Resistance to change
Our first step in identifying how minds change is to understand why this process is so difficult to begin with. A fundamental insight from McRaney’s research is that our minds are designed to resist change, especially when there is a motivation to maintain a current belief.
One explanation has to do with the idea of assimilation versus accommodation, where the motivation is often time or convenience. Essentially, when our brain receives new information, we have two options: merge that information into a pre-existing category in our minds (assimilate) or create an entirely new category (accommodate).
A great example is how young children begin to understand different types of animals. After seeing a dog for the first time, they may ask their parent to identify this new creature. The parent informs the child that it is a dog, and now the child has developed a new category in his mind (accommodation): a four-legged creature with a tail, fur, and four legs is a dog.
So later, when a child sees a horse for the first time, their immediate inclination is to think of a dog. This is the easiest way for their minds to categorize new information and an example of the brain practicing assimilation. Once again, after their parents inform them that this animal is a horse, their brains will absorb this new information with a new category.
The point is that our brains will form shortcuts to help us process and understand information faster. Assimilation is a much simpler process, so our brains will naturally prefer it. This makes it sometimes more difficult to present new ideas to people.
Other motivations for resistance include a preference for autonomy and a desire to be socially accepted.
As mammals, humans are hardwired to value social acceptance. Community is necessary for survival. Neurologically, this means that we are more likely to accept certain beliefs based on the fact that the people around us also accept those beliefs, and we don’t want to be isolated or ostracized because we are different. This is opposed to believing something because we know it to be objectively correct.
So if you’re an environmentalist hoping to convince someone that climate change is real, their resistance may come from the fact that they got their beliefs from their family or community, and challenging those shared values feels like a threat to their belonging and ultimately survival.
Finally, David reminds listeners that as humans we have a natural desire for autonomy. We want to feel as if we are in control of our lives and our movements. This feels safer. However, this natural preference often makes us incredibly resistant to being persuaded to adopt a new behavior or way of thinking. We don’t want to be told what to do or how to think.
How to change your mind
During this research, David studied a variety of different groups where persuasive communication is common, including door-to-door canvassers, therapists, cult leaders, and others. Regardless of the context, he found a clear commonality. The first step is always building rapport.
It’s vital to make the other person feel respected and safe, even if you strongly disagree with their point of view. Establishing rapport creates an environment where people don’t feel forced to react defensively, leading to more productive conversations.
McRaney’s research revealed that even when dealing with people with extreme or harmful beliefs, creating a safe space for them to consider alternative perspectives is critical. By respecting them and allowing them to introspect, you provide them with an opportunity to form a more rounded or informed opinion. This practice of cognitive empathy is vital, especially when discussing topics with strong moral or emotional connotations.
Another persuasive technique is embracing curiosity. Instead of telling a person how they should feel about a particular issue, start by getting them to share their feelings about it. Ask them to rate their feelings on a scale of 1 to 10, and then ask for an explanation of why they chose that rating. By asking them to quantify their feelings, you subtly eliminate the message that this topic is up for debate. You also remove some of the tension that can come with binary answers (yes/no, right/wrong, bad/good). In short, certain adversarial dynamics have been removed and the person must now take time to consider why they believe what they do.
This is the best way to lay some groundwork for changing a person’s consciousness, but Dave believes that part of this strategy involves changing our mindset. Instead of seeing persuasion as a quick way to get someone to do what you want, embrace the idea that winning actually means getting the other person to open their mind and think critically about their beliefs.
This way of thinking will be especially applicable in the world of politics, advocacy, and social justice, where people hope to change their minds on deeply important and personal issues.
McRaney’s insights underscore the importance of understanding the neurological and psychological science behind the art of persuasion. By establishing rapport, encouraging curiosity, and encouraging thoughtful discussions, you create a stronger foundation for changing someone’s mind when it matters most.
Learn more at www.davidmcraney.com. Click here to listen to the full episode.
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