When most teenagers were choosing colleges and their potential future careers, my father—a state trooper at the time—suggested that I join the FBI. I had the brains for it, he said. And I just lost my baby fat, I could, with the right training, have the body for it too. He recognized when I decided to choose a more lucrative career. I wanted to be an orthodontist, even for someone who had an aversion to sticking their fingers in someone else’s mouth.
Spoiler alert: My “dream” of becoming an orthodontist died my freshman year. So when I announced my switch to major in English writing, my father’s fantasy of having a federal agent as a son returned. “They’re hiring English majors,” I distinctly remember him joking. (Or no just kidding? Who’s to say.) As anyone reading this piece can guess, I didn’t enroll in the academy either. I didn’t even apply. Instead, I stuck with writing and, well, here I am: writing for the FBI.
You see, the process of becoming a federal agent is as daunting as the duties that come with earning the badge. First, there is a long list of non-negotiables. You must be a US citizen; your public record must be in good standing with no felony convictions; must adhere to the FBI’s drug policy (you are disqualified if you have used illegal drugs in the past 10 years); your student loans must be in payment; you must have filed all required annual federal, state and local taxes for your entire employment history; is not currently ordered to pay child support; and last but not least, have no prior history with organizations designed to overthrow the US government.
Then there’s a seven-step hiring process that includes everything from background checks to polygraph tests and a physical fitness test — a thorough, quick stage of the kind designed to weed out the physically unfit to serve.
Fortunately, however, the PFT is the only part of the process that you can really study or prepare for. And civilians can also follow the FBI’s training program. It’s available in both an app — if you’re willing to literally hand over your personal data to the FBI — and a simple PDF. The point test is scored as a pass or fail, but you earn points for each part, of which there are four: sit-ups, 300-meter sprint, push-ups, and 1.5-mile run, in that order, all with no more than five minutes rest between each.
Taking the test is a balancing act and a good way to develop a healthy workout rhythm. Max out during sprints and push-ups, and you’re probably toast when it’s time to run long distances. Save energy for running and you risk missing the sprint goal. You must earn a minimum of 12 points with at least one point in three events and no less than zero in each event. That means you can get a zero on the mile, a 10 on sit-ups, and a 1 on both push-ups and sprints and still pass.
However, looking at the scoring system turns out to be deceiving. I, for one, feel foolishly confident in my ability to run 2.5 miles in under 15 minutes, which would give me a zero. But considering the mile comes after doing 30 push-ups (to get one), running 300 meters in 51.5 seconds (to get one), and doing 59 sit-ups (to get 10), I’m not so sure And that’s all without more than a few minutes to catch my breath and let my muscles recover. Sheesh. I’d say that unless you’re in pretty damn good shape – eating right, doing regular, intense cardio, and lifting regularly (or at least doing those bodyweight exercises), you probably won’t pass. Especially if pickup sports are all you do to stay in shape.
I go to the gym every day, at least during the week, but I realize that I am still far from passing. But, as I found out, whether you plan to eventually take this test or not, you can (and should) still use it as an effective functional fitness training guide. These are all exercises that you can get better at the more you do them, and you can do them all from your home with little or no equipment. Try it for a few weeks and notice how quickly you see positive changes in your body, energy and recovery levels.
