AUSTIN, TX — Selena Gomez and Mandy Teefey along with Solomon Thomas and Dr. Corey Yeager joined Dr. Jessica Stern at South by Southwest to talk about the importance of mental health and the value of destigmatizing conventional thinking behind mental health .
Selena Gomez co-founded Wondermind, the first mental fitness ecosystem, with her mother, Mandy Teefey. Mandy expressed that for everyone, including Wondermind, “in order to understand how to talk to each other, we have to understand each other.” Understanding and being able to express your feelings is an integral part of getting the help you need.
Selena Gomez has opened up about her experience with mental health, saying how important it is to know that you may have to hit rock bottom before you even know you need to ask for help, but sometimes that’s what it takes to get the help you need you need must She said, “You need to be in a place where you can talk about your feelings and do the work.”
Touching on her documentary My Mind and I, she emphasized how difficult it was to actually get it released. How hard it is to watch yourself speak so negatively. She said this in the course of the documentary; she learned the importance of talking to yourself kindly and positively.
Dr. Corey Yeager is a licensed marriage and family therapist. He recently wrote the book “How am I doing? 40 conversations to have with yourself”. In the panel, Yeager touched on how for many people we are quick to give grace to other people. He emphasized the importance of how “we must be able to give grace to ourselves as well.”
Yeager touched on the importance of being present in your life and that “85% of the things we get nervous about never happened.” In terms of mental health, it’s very easy to focus on the things that might or might happen, but there’s no need to stress about it if it hasn’t happened yet.
Solomon Thomas is a defensive back for the New York Jets. He co-founded The Defensive Line after his sister Ella died by suicide. He continues to be an advocate for mental health and touches on the importance of destigmatizing mental health, especially for men. He said: “You weren’t allowed to be around footballers, around other guys and be sensitive and emotional. It was not a safe place, it was rejected.
Solomon stressed the importance of therapy, the importance of being able to put your emotions into words. That sometimes “it’s okay to not be okay.” Speaking about his personal experience after his sister died by suicide, he emphasized that “I had to learn that it’s okay not to put all your highlights on Instagram, I had to do the work to figure out how I could be myself again being able to get to a place where I can talk about my emotions has really changed my life.”
How can you strengthen your mental health?
Selena Gomez said that for her, Dialectical Behavior Therapy has really impacted her life. She also mentioned that sometimes you have to allow yourself to feel it.
Mandy Teefey said she really enjoys journaling and creating. Finding something that centers you and that you enjoy doing can really help strengthen your mental health.
Corey Yeager talks about creating a supreme court in your life. Three to five people you are very close to and know will tell you the truth and support you because when you talk to people, you relieve the tension you feel. He emphasized the importance of talking to someone or writing down your feelings.
Solomon Thomas said, “therapy saved my life.” People are trained to reflect back to you. Keeping a journal helps ease the thoughts in your head. Meditation allows you to approach the day as you want, instead of it coming to you. Turn off your phone to be present, get some sunlight, get enough sleep. Connectivity and the people around you can also help.
Dealing well with loneliness
“You have to listen to loneliness. Put the phone and the screens away and see if you can find your happiness and yourself,” Teefey said. She went on to say that you will not be lonely when you are alone. It’s important to have a relationship with yourself because then it won’t be filled with other people’s agenda.
Yeager added that “your happiness is yours, no one else’s. All healing and happiness comes from within. Therapists can facilitate this, but recognizing that healing and happiness comes from within is very powerful.
Dr. Stern said, “It’s always going to be uncomfortable before it gets comfortable.” She wants everyone to focus on the three W’s, a desire (something you desire for yourself, i.e. a goal you would like to set ), wonder (something you might be curious about, something to ask about), victory ( something you do well, something you’re proud of).
